For me the first step was to admit that I spend most of the day thinking about how shitty life has been without my dad. Once I started to realize the constant negative thought patterns, it got a bit easier to start changing the way I look at life NOW.
It is okay not to be okay!
The question is how do we change the negative ways we think about our everyday life?
I caught myself several times in a day thinking about "what if" and just thinking very negative about certain aspects in my life. Right when I notice myself thinking negatively about life, I try to replace them with positive thoughts. For instance, I constantly think of my dad and I get very emotional. Once I catch myself crying, I start to think of all the good times we spend together, all the things that he thought my kids and I, then all the sudden my negative thoughts shift to a positive one.
Changing the way you think, I believe goes beyond psychological help. I am pretty optimistic about my religion. I constantly need to revamp myself read verses in the bible and praying on a regular base. I find myself writing bible verses and putting them everywhere at home that I could think of. When I feel void, I look across the room and there goes a verse that encourages me and remind me that God is working in my life and that of my children.
It doesn't hurt to surround yourself with those that have the same value like you...
I was once told, once you become aware of the beauty in life, you will be able to change anything.
Thinking more positively and being able to recognize and being alert with your thoughts can have a significant impact in your life.